Dirty Jokes

1) Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
Mom asked "How do you know?"
Girl replied "Last night when we made love,
his cock was still in plastic cover."

(2) Bangladesh Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."
Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."
2 hours later Bangladesh Worker: "Boss! It worked!
Me ok now. You got nice house."

(3) After sex, Thai girl kept fondling man's cock.
Man asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Thai Girl replied: "No lah, just admiring your cock.
I used to have one before."

(4) Women's lives are hard.
Morning wash clothes. Noon hang clothes.
Evening keep clothes. Nite iron clothes.
Midnight take off clothes. After midnight find clothes.

(5) To make it straight she pulls it.
To make it stand she rubs it.
To make it stiff she licks it.
To let it in she pushes it. True?
Threading a needle is not easy.

(6) Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
"Anyone got a cock?"
All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?"
All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?"
All nuns rose.

(7) A Sad story. A woman's husband died & she had him cremated.
She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said
"Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."

(8) Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl you will get one."
Girl: "But mom what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many!"

(9) A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
"If I give you $3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties."

(10) Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
Teacher: "Why?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."

(11) Two sperms talking on mobile.
Ist: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus.
Are you close by?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route.
I am just crossing the tonsils."

12) Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a PENIS.
This is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought