阿茂整餅：無嗰樣整嗰樣
屙尿入盅 : 執正來做
半夜食黃瓜：唔知頭唔知尾
扁鼻佬戴眼鏡：冇得頂
陳年中草藥：發爛渣
城樓跑馬 : 一味兜圈
豉油撈飯：整色整水
廚房階磚 (豉油樽蓋)：鹹濕
單眼佬睇老婆：一眼睇哂
賣布唔帶尺 : 存心不良（量）
番鬼佬月餅：悶極 ( Moon cake的諧音)
番薯跌落灶：該煨
飛機打交：高鬥
飛機火燭：燒雲（銷魂的諧音）
非洲和尚：乞人憎（黑人僧的諧音）
肥佬著笠衫：幾大就幾大
肥婆坐屎塔：佮佮陷
墳場發電機：電死人
風吹雞蛋殼：財散人安落
閉眼射靶 : 不妙（瞄的諧音）
棺材鋪拜神 ：想人死
棺材頭燒炮仗：嚇死人
跪地餵豬乸：睇錢份上
深海石斑：好瘀（好魚的諧音）
航空母艦/新澤西號：食水深（賺到盡）
和尚擔傘：無法（髮的諧音）無天
黑白天鵝：日哦夜哦
黃皮樹鷯哥：唔熟唔食
白鱔上沙灘：唔死一身潺
火燒旗杆：長嘆（長炭的諧音）
棚尾拉箱 : 走佬
無耳茶壺 : 得把嘴
屎坑三姑 : 易請難送
老公荷包：膚淺（夫錢的諧音）
老公潑扇：悽涼（妻涼的諧音）
老婆擔遮 ：陰功（陰公的諧音）
老鼠尾生瘡：大極有限
甩柄士巴拿：得棚牙
落雨擔摭：死黨（死擋的諧音）
賣魚佬：有聲(腥)氣 (引申句 : 賣魚佬洗身：無晒聲(腥)氣)
南無佬跌落屎坑：無晒符
牛皮燈籠：點極都唔明
年三十晚謝灶 ：好做唔做
年晚煎堆：人有我有
撒路溪錢：引死人
筲箕兜水 : 漏洞百出
山草藥：噏得就噏
神仙放屁：不同凡響
神仙過鐵橋：包穩陣
神臺貓屎：神憎鬼厭
Showing posts with label General Knowledge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label General Knowledge. Show all posts
廣東話歇後語
The Kuantan Ultimate Road Bully - Kiki Kamaruddin
This kind of racist bitch should be burn and sent to hell
She thought she can hide her car like this?
Stupid!
More information of this ultimate bitch:
Facebook (Personal) : https://www.facebook.com/kiki.kerjakahwin
(She already closed down her FB)
Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/LikeKerjaKahwin
https://www.facebook.com/Kikikamarudinkerjakahwin (latest)
https://www.facebook.com/Kikikamarudinkerjakahwin (latest)
Webpage: http://www.kerjakahwin.com.my/
Blog: http://kikikerjakahwin.blogspot.com/
h/p number: 013 - 779 1393 ( KIKI )
7 Rules in the reality
Rule 1 - Evil always win
Define the evil and don't mess with them
Rule 2 - Be with the Evil
Make friend or get yourself close with the evil
Rule 3 - Outcast the enemies
Use that evil and outcast all your enemies one by one
Rule 4 - Kill the Evil
Take a good chance and destroy the evil that helps you
Rule 5 - Be the Evil
Since the evil is gone, you have to be the evil
Rule 6 - Trust no one
Nobody should be trusted; because there are a lots of evil-wannabe
Rule 7 - One and only
Make sure you are the one and only evil, FORVER !
What kind of people I hate the most in office...
01. Dictator:- Excuse me, we don't need a Hitler in the office. Not everything needs to be on result oriented; but it doesn't mean i'm on the human oriented side. A mix of both will be perfect. So please, fuck off you moron dictator... Don't forget getting a killer only needs RM3-4k now...
02. Human Hound:- Everyone here should know that i love dogs, but not these who evolved from human beings. These hounds only knows how to lick his master's ass/pussy. They are are stinky, the way they flatter, makes me feel like giving them a big slap on the face...
03. Double headed Dildo:- I used to called them "double headed snake" because snakes are creepy and nasty; but its not really that suitable; so i came out with "Double headed Dildo". These human forms of dildo will tells different stories of a same person/situation differently when in front of different people, it will do his best to make that person believe him and provide "ear pleasure"~ So, what could be a better name for this then?
04. Editor:- This kind of colleague is the worst among all, they will make friend with you and let you told them your secret unconsciously when you have treat them as a so-called-friend. Usually their creativity is extremely strong, they will only took 20%-30% of your real story and mix up with their story. The whole thing will become kinda real & usually all those dumb blondes will choose to go along with the editor's version.
05. Wet market aunties:- No matter it is female or male, we shall conclude them as the WET MARKET AUNTIES!!! This type of colleague is not as powerful as the editor, as mostly they are not good in creating story, but their "message telegraphy" power is scary~ They can announce a news in within 10 minutes throughout the whole department; 20 minutes to up and down 5 floors; in within 30 minutes they will successfully spread it to the whole company... some might even go to branches... oh gosh, they are more horrible than the SARS and H1N1. Sometime i felt that these 2 viruses must learn from all these aunties. Usually the war of these aunties took place in pantry, lunch time, toilet, smoking area... now they have upgraded and decided to go on FB, whatsapp, wechat, line....
06. The Fishmonger:- What did a fishmonger do? Of coz they sell-fish "selfish"~ usually they kept the easiest way of doing a work to themselves only, no sharing are allowed! Unless its an order from the superior, then they usually will "trick" the new guy by teaching them half while the other half is still kept to themselves. And yes, Bingo! When they new guy gets into trouble, they will come out and "aiyo, i already told you not like this ma...."
There are still many many more categories of colleagues than these, but most of them has been awarded as "The Best Actor" or "The Best Actress" before and they usually are politician-wannabe~ Even though i've involved in the corporate world for 6-7 years, sometime i will still got "hit" by them once in a while; especially to those multiple-categories-colleague...
And now i just feel so tired deeping myself in this nasty corporate world, i just wanna get away~ I believe in karma, one day they will get what Satan has prepared for them~ or else, i will just spend a RM14k to buy a real pistol from the black market to do it myself!!!
[Just another nagging post from me, after such a long time...]
About Health 生理警讯
Hi bloggers, i found this from an email and would like to share with u guys... hopefully my english translation is not too awful to read~ :P
神造人时给人体许多巧妙的安排，从身体的很多方面，我们都可以观察出自己健康的状况。只是很多时候我们都忽略了，现在让我们一起来看看，有哪些是你从来不知道的。
When God creates human being, he has arrange a very special arrangement on our body. Let's find out what God has arrange for us...
1. 冒痘痘的位置与健康 讯息 Acne
冒痘痘的位置可能显示出身体的警讯，你知道吗？你可能要看看是否真的该保养身体了。
Different places of acne represent different signal of our health
额头 Forehead
代表心火旺、血液循环有问题，可能是过于劳心伤神。这类的人脾气较不好，应养成早睡早起的习惯，睡眠充足，并多喝水。
There's problem in the blood circulation, maybe because you're too stressed out. This people usually has bad tempered, should drink more water and have enough sleep.
鼻子 Nose
如果长在鼻梁，代表脊椎骨可能出现问题；如果是长在鼻头处，可能是胃火大、消化系统异常；若在鼻头两侧，就可能跟卵巢机能或生殖系统有关。
If its on bridge of the nose, means there's problem on your vertebra; if its on the tip of the nose, your digest system have problem; if its on side of the nose, means your ovary or your sex organ got problem
下巴 Lower Jaw
表示肾功能受损或内分泌系统失调。女生容易下巴周围长痘痘的可能是月事不顺所引起的。
Your kidney is having problem, as for woman will be during menses period
左边脸颊 Left Cheek
可能是肝功能不顺畅，如肝脏的分泌、解毒或造血等功能出了状况。
Liver is not functioning well, might as well as problem occurs on detoxify and blood making
右边脸颊 Right Cheek
可能是肺部功能失常。
Malfunction of the lungs
2. 如何 检视指甲的健康 Finger Nails
指甲的生长夏天比冬天快，手指甲又比脚指甲快，且健康情况也会在指甲上显现哦！所以快检视一下，你的指甲健不健康。
Our fingernails grow faster on the summer than the winter. The fingernails grow faster than the toe.
指甲色泽 Color & Luster
通常是淡粉红色，但若太常使用指甲油、去光水，也会使指甲变黄。
Usually light pink is normal, but if you used too much nail polisher, your nail will turn yellowish
指甲的韧度 Toughness
用其他手指按压指甲尖端，若能略为弯曲表示硬度刚好，若太软也表示指甲不健康。
Use other finger to press the tip of the nails, its ok if it can bend a bit, but if too soft means its not healthy.
指甲板是否光滑 Glossiness
有时从侧面观看会发现沟痕，那就要多滋养指甲，让情况改善。
If you find there's too much ditch on it, then try to lubricate it
周围皮肤 Skin around
指甲周围皮肤若是过于干燥、粗糙，就要利用按摩与保养，改善情况。
Have to do more massage to prevent the skin around the nails to get dry
3. 指甲的病征 Sickness from Finger Nails
指甲可以反 应健康状况，观察指甲的变化，可以了解身体有哪些病征。
The fingernails can also reflect our health too
指甲过白 Too white
慢性贫血或肝、肾有问题。
Anemia or liver and kidney got problem
白斑 White Spot
缺乏锌，可由海产类、菠菜、菇类、五 类、葵瓜子等摄取补充。
Lack of zinc, can get it from seafood, spinach, mushrooms
容易破裂 Crack Easily
缺乏铁质，可由深绿色叶菜类、鱼类、豆类、五 类等补充。
Lack of iron, can get it from green vegetables, fish, beans
指甲过黄 Yellowish
缺乏维他命 E ，也可能是淋巴系 统、呼吸系统有问题。维他命E 可由深绿色蔬菜、水果中摄取。
Lack of Vitamin E, might be problem if lymph system and breathing problem. Can get it from green vegetables & fruits
凹凸不平 Concave & Convex
若还有出现一条条的条纹，可能是肝不好。
Liver is not good
4. 如何从唇色 观察健康状况 Lip's Color
健康的唇色是粉红色的，如果唇色不正常，可能是健康状况不好哦！
Normal lips color should be pink, if the color is abnormal, means there's problem
唇色苍白 Pale
若指甲、眼睑也苍白，可能有贫血。
If the fingernail, Pupils also pale, anemia it is
唇色青紫 Greenish
若非因为气温过于寒冷，有可能是有贫血、心脏方面问题。
If its not because of too cold, means there's symptom of anemia and heart problem
唇色淡黄 Yellowish
若脸色、眼白一样呈黄色，可能是肝功能不好。
If the face and pupils is yellowish too, means the malfunction of liver
唇色红紫 Purple-ish
若非发烧或一氧化碳中毒，就可能有心脏病、肺病、心脏衰弱等问题。
If not fever or poison, means heart, lungs got problem
5. 从排泄物看健康 Faeces
许多人排出的大便有强烈的臭味，其实如果吃多了肉类、便秘时、肠胃道老化都会有此现象。你可以从排泄物观察出自己的健康情况哦！
If you notice your faeces has strong smell, means you eat too much meat or constipation, or intestines is ageing.
份量 Quantity
每次以两三条为适量。 形状 直径两三公分的条状为佳，过软或呈颗粒状则表示肠子有老化状况。
Should be two or three twigs each time. Shape should be 2 or 3 cm the best. If too mushy or round shape means intestines is ageing.
气味 Smell
正常者应没有强烈的味道，若有 □ 臭味、焦臭味、腐 败味，则是有肠老 化现象。
Normally will not smell too strong. If your mouth smell means intestines is ageing.
颜色 Color
黄色为正常，颜色愈深表示肠老化状态愈严重。
Yellow for normal, the darker the color means the serious the intestines is ageing.
硬度 Toughness
排便时若无压迫感或泻肚子状态则为正常。
Its normal when you don't feel oppression or diarrhea
6. 生理 时钟表 Physiology Clock
身体都有生理时钟，不同时间有不同工作，应该配合生理时钟，才能有健康身体哦！
Usually we have a physiology clock, take note of it
午夜 12:00 ~ 1:00 12am - 1am
浅眠期 多梦而敏感，身体不适者易在此时痛醒。
Light sleep, more dream and sensitive. People who do not feel well will wake up at this moment because of pain
凌晨 1:00 ~ 2:00 1am - 2am
排毒期 此时肝脏为排除毒素而活动旺盛， 应让身体进入睡眠状态，让肝脏得以完成代谢废物。
Detox time, liver will be actively doing the detox. You should let your body in total sleeping status so that the liver can do it jobs
凌晨 3:00 ~ 4:00 3am -4am
休眠期 重症病人最易发病的时刻，常有患病者在此时死亡，熬夜最好勿超过这个时间。
Resting time, serious patient usually get their sickness and die at this hour. Please don't over this period even if you wanna stay up late.
上午9:00 ~ 11:00 9am - 11am
精华期 此时为注意力及记忆力最好，且工作与学习的最佳时段。
Essence period, you can pay more attention and have the best memories, better for studying period
中午 12:00 ~ 1:00 12pm - 1pm
午休期 最好静坐或闭目休息一下再进餐，正午不可饮酒，易醉又伤肝哦！
Tea time, better rest for a while after the lunch, not suitable to have alcoholic, will hurt the liver
下午 2:00 ~ 3:00 2pm - 3pm
高峰期 是分析力和创造力得以发挥淋漓的极致时段！
Peak period, best for creation and analysis
下午 4:00 ~ 5:00 4pm - 5pm
低潮期 体力耗弱的阶段，最好补充水果来解馋，避免因饥饿而贪食致肥胖。
Low tide hour, energy getting less, can use fruits to fill up your hungriness
下午 5:00 ~ 6:00 5pm - 6pm
松散期 此时血糖略增，嗅觉与味觉最敏感，不妨准备晚膳来提振精神。
Relax time, blood sugar will grow, sensitive on smell and taste, best to have dinner
晚上 7:00 ~ 8:00 7pm - 8pm
暂憩期 最好能在饭后 30分钟去散个步或沐浴，放松一下，纾解一日的疲倦困顿。
Temporary rest time, have a walk or bath, 30 minutes after your dinner
晚上 8:00 ~ 10:00 8pm - 10pm
夜修期 此为晚上活动的巅峰时段，建议您善用此时进行商议，进修等 要思虑周密的活动。
Night time, active moment during night time, can use this hours for discussion, studying or thinking
晚上 11:00 ~ 12:00 11pm - 12am
夜眠期 经过镇日忙碌，此时应该放松心情进入梦乡，千万别让身体过度负荷，那可得不偿失哦！
Sleeping time, after the stressful and tired days, should relax yourself and have a nice sleep, don't burden your body
A Drug Traffickers Water Bottle
Now you see
Why you should not hold anything
For a fellow traveler or stranger
Not even an old auntie or uncle or pregnant lady.
Coz u may end up "Digantung Sampai Mati"
for illegal drug trafficking
BEWARE
買東西，為什麼不說買南北
南宋理學大家朱熹在未出仕前，家鄉有叫盛溫和的好友，此人亦是博學多才的人，一天兩人相遇於巷子內，盛手中拿著一個竹籃子...
朱熹問他：「你去那裡？」
盛回答說：「我要去買點東西。」
朱熹是以窮理致知研究學問的人，他聽盛的話，很好奇，
隨即問道：「你說買東西， 為什麼不說買南北呢？」
盛溫和反問朱熹：「你知什麼是五行嗎？」
朱熹答：「我當然知道，不就是金、木、水、火、土嗎？」
盛說：「不錯，你知道了就好辦，現在我說給 你聽，東方屬木，西方屬金，南方屬火，北方屬水，中間屬土。我的籃子是竹做的，盛火會燒掉，裝水會漏光，只能裝木和金，更不會盛土，所以叫買東西，不說買南北呀。」 朱熹聽後唉了一聲說：「原來是這樣！」
原來買東西這個名詞還有這樣一個典故，未收到這篇故事前，還真是搞不懂，買東西的由來，為何會說買東西而不說買南北，看了這篇故事後才知道原來還有這樣一段插曲呢，古人的智慧真是蘊藏在我們的生活的點點滴滴中。
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