This morning, I was beaten by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at her boobs when she said:
"Would you please press one?"
So I did.
I don't remember much after that
Showing posts with label Joking and Kidding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joking and Kidding. Show all posts
Oppa Gangnam Style & its parodies~
Lol, i know everyone heard of this & its franchise parodies...
You may find it irritating...
If you have heart-attack, pls dont watch...
Original version
Nelly Furtado version - cool
8e-news version - Yikes! Petaling street :P
One Fm version - too short
Malaysia version - Are they promoting Tesco? Lol
KL version - I like it, very creative
Hakka version - this is from Api? lol
Sabah version - Hilarious... skinny version?
Taiwan version - Hokkien Kanasai
Chang Family version - I love this, its like a family project~ lol
Thai version - Y no ah gua?!?
Chicago version - Ok ok only
K Town version - English version nice :)
Girl version - She's from London, and she do it all by herself
Singapore version 1 - The worst
Singapore version 2 - some part is not welly shoot
Singapore version 3 - Oh, got one lengchai inside :)
Condom version - =.='''
Black should be better
Don't you think black pants will be a better choice?
Lol
Samuel Mikulak: USA Gymnasium
The Erecterius Trouserious
The Erecterius Trouserious
or The Trouser Snake is the world's most dangerous snake.
Color varies from pink to black.
It is fangless.
It's highly venomous spit can cause prolonged swelling lasting 9 months.
Average length 3 to 9 inches depending on sub species.
Usually appears in bedrooms but found in unusual places at times.
Attacks women in the lower abdominal area.
It has also been known to attack men from behind!
BEWARE
or The Trouser Snake is the world's most dangerous snake.
Color varies from pink to black.
It is fangless.
It's highly venomous spit can cause prolonged swelling lasting 9 months.
Average length 3 to 9 inches depending on sub species.
Usually appears in bedrooms but found in unusual places at times.
Attacks women in the lower abdominal area.
It has also been known to attack men from behind!
BEWARE
How to pronounce OKLAHOMA ?!?
A friend of mine, who is a teacher,
once told me that in one of her Geography lessons,
she had difficulties getting some of her students
to pronounce the name of a city, OKLAHOMA !
A Malay student, read it as
O.K. lah Omar
A Chinese student, read it as
Okra Oma !
An Indian student read it as
Wok Kla Wo Ma !
Don't laugh, but do you know how to pronounce correctly,
the word.... "Oklahoma" ?
The Proper Way is: OKLA...(with a pause) ... HOMA
(There's a gap between the 'a' and the 'h'.)
Don't agree, let me prove it..............................
once told me that in one of her Geography lessons,
she had difficulties getting some of her students
to pronounce the name of a city, OKLAHOMA !
A Malay student, read it as
O.K. lah Omar
A Chinese student, read it as
Okra Oma !
An Indian student read it as
Wok Kla Wo Ma !
Don't laugh, but do you know how to pronounce correctly,
the word.... "Oklahoma" ?
The Proper Way is: OKLA...(with a pause) ... HOMA
(There's a gap between the 'a' and the 'h'.)
Don't agree, let me prove it..............................
Jokes again :)
兩只青蛙相愛了，結婚後生了一個癩蛤嫫， 公青蛙見狀大怒說：賤人，怎麼回事？ 母青蛙哭著說：他爹，認識你之前我整過容。 (愛情需要信任)
小驢問老驢：為啥咱們天天吃幹草，而奶牛頓頓精飼料？ 老驢嘆到：咱爺們比不了，我們是靠跑腿吃飯，人家是靠胸脯吃飯！ (生活需要忍耐)
鴨子和螃蟹賽跑,一起到達終點，難分勝負， 裁判說：你們來個剪刀石頭布吧！ 鴨子大怒：媽的，算計我?我一出是布，他總是剪刀。 (比賽需要天賦)
狗對熊說：嫁給我吧,嫁給我你會幸福。 熊說：才不嫁呢，嫁給你只會生狗熊， 我要嫁給貓，生熊貓那才尊貴呢! (婚姻需要理智)
一壁虎誤入鱷魚池，喪命之時，壁虎急中生智， 一把抱住鱷魚大叫：媽媽！ 鱷魚一 愣，立刻老淚縱橫：都瘦 成這樣了，別再上班了！放假休息吧。
離婚的原因 老張結婚二十年，最近居然決定和太太離婚， 因為太太一生氣起來就會用盤子丟他。 他的朋友都勸他：「這麼多年都忍過去了，何必現在要離婚呢？」 老張無奈的說：「我實在受不了啦，因為她的盤子越丟越準了！」
一口氣 老師：「人為什麼需要空氣？」 學生：「為了爭一口氣。」 老師：「那又為甚麼要把空氣吐出來呢？」 學生：「為了出一口氣。」
將心比心 妻子正在廚房炒菜。 丈夫在她旁邊一直嘮叨不停： 「慢些。小心！火太大了。趕快把魚翻過來。快鏟起 來，油放太多了！ 把豆腐整平一下。哎唷，鍋子歪了！」 「請你住口！」妻子脫口而出，「我懂得怎樣炒菜。」 「你當然懂，太太。」丈夫平靜地答道： 「 我只是要讓妳知道，我在開車時，妳在旁邊喋喋不休，我的感覺如何？」
耍小聰明 某人：「上帝啊！一百年對你來說算得了甚麼呢？」 上帝：「一百年就像一分鐘一樣。」 某人：「那麼，一百萬美金呢？」 上帝：「跟一個銅板差不多。」 某人：「好極了！上帝，借給我一個銅板怎麼樣？」 上帝：「我非常願意；不過，你稍等一分鐘。」 (人常以自己的小聰明來向上帝討便宜，其實人算永遠不如天算，謙卑才是上上之策 。)
Who have the "Sexiest" Butt ever ?
Forget about Kim Kadarshian
Forget about Jennifer Lopez
Forget about Shakira
Forget about Jessica Simpson
And the Winner Is
Forget about Jennifer Lopez
Forget about Shakira
Forget about Jessica Simpson
And the Winner Is
Malaysia Produce Lawyers
Was having a conversation with my European friend
Leu (L) European (E)
E: Heard that Malaysia produce a lots of lawyer
L: Why do you say so?
E: Because whenever I ask someone whether they are working or study...
L: What?
E: They will say "STUDY LO"
L: -.-'''
三好 Become 七好 ?!?
Read this from a blog regarding working in a corporate world:-
If you wanna have promotion in your company,
就系要学下"三好"咁:
存好心, 说好话, 做好事!
不过哩, 我仲有其他"四好"哦:
擦好鞋, 吹好水, 食好蛇, 做好戏!
哈哈哈哈哈.... 一共"七好"!
就系要学下"三好"咁:
存好心, 说好话, 做好事!
不过哩, 我仲有其他"四好"哦:
擦好鞋, 吹好水, 食好蛇, 做好戏!
哈哈哈哈哈.... 一共"七好"!
Fascinating or wat? hahaha~
New Weight Lose Program !
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads,
"If you catch me you can have me".
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ass is mine."
He lost 63 pounds that week!!
Priest with Big Tool
A distinguished young woman
on a flight from Switzerland
asked the Priest beside her,
'Father, may I ask a favor?'
'Of course. What may I do for you?'
'Well, I bought an expensive
woman's electronic hair dryer
for my mother's birthday that is unopened
and well over the customs limits,
and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it.
Is there any way you could carry it
through customs for me?
Under your robes perhaps?'
'I would love to help you, dear,
but I must warn you, I will not lie.'
'With your honest face, Father,
no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs,
she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked,
'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist,
I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so asked,
'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvelous instrument
designed to be used on a woman,
but which is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said,
'Go ahead, Father. Next!'
on a flight from Switzerland
asked the Priest beside her,
'Father, may I ask a favor?'
'Of course. What may I do for you?'
'Well, I bought an expensive
woman's electronic hair dryer
for my mother's birthday that is unopened
and well over the customs limits,
and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it.
Is there any way you could carry it
through customs for me?
Under your robes perhaps?'
'I would love to help you, dear,
but I must warn you, I will not lie.'
'With your honest face, Father,
no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs,
she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked,
'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist,
I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so asked,
'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvelous instrument
designed to be used on a woman,
but which is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said,
'Go ahead, Father. Next!'
Save Water - Drink Beer !!!
Water is preciousSave Water
Drink Beer
People who drink, get drunk
People who get drunk, go to sleep
People who go to sleep, do not SIN
People who do not SIN, go to heaven
So...So let us all drink and go to heaven
Wow, whoever wrote this
Impressive :)
Let's drink beer
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